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Thoughts and ramblings.

Frustration.

Ugh, I stepped on the scale this morning after promising myself that I wouldn’t do it. Telling myself that I wouldn’t do it. That I didn’t need to do it. Well that goes to show how much self-control I have. So I guess I can’t be surprised that the weight loss wasn’t as good as I thought it was going to be. As good as I had believed it was going to be.

Yesterday I weighed 43.7kg and today I weigh 43.5kg. A two hundred gram weight loss after all of that yesterday. Well you know what? Screw it. Today I’ve binged and binged hard. Maybe not to some of you but to me, it’s a lot of food. I’m small in stature so whenever I become bloated or put on excess weight then I look like I’ve put on 10kg when in reality it’s only 1kg.

I just can’t believe that I haven’t lost that much. I can’t believe that my happiness is directly linked to those little numbers on the scale. How many numbers increase make me depressed but when they shrink, oh my happiness lasts for days on end. If it’s what I expected.

Screw it. I’m going to eat the rest of my foot long Subway sandwich because obviously I’m incapable of losing weight now. Just screw it. Screw everything.

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