Obviously I am not someone who should be left unsupervised, at all. I have no self-control. I’ve lost it.
Lost my control.
Lost my willpower.
Today I made waffles, as you do and I left some of them in the fridge when I cleaned up afterwards. Big mistake. Colossal mistake. I shouldn’t have done that. Four waffles with maple syrup for breakfast and a vanilla latte. Four waffles for lunch with a chocolate yogurt and two handfuls of energy trail mix for lunch. All I can eat are the fu*king waffles. Waffles, waffles, waffles. I have waffles on the brain.
I’m already up to 500-550 calories. That’s already over my allowance of 500 calories per day. I don’t know what I can do. There’s a small voice that’s steadily growing louder. It’s chanting, chanting, chanting away in the back of my mind. “Purge, purge, purge! You’re home alone, just do it. Take the laxatives. Just this once. You’re home alone. You’ll be fine. Purge, purge, purge!” I’m trying to ignore it; that voice. But try as I might, it’s getting worse. Louder and louder.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this.